Someone posted, asking me how to have sober day 1. So I call out to you other sober bloggers: please post about your first AF day. Someone out there is asking how to!
My most unsuccessful quits related to my bad attitude. Feeling left out instead of feeling like I was trying to find a happier, healthier way to live. A positive attitude is key.
The best Day 1 I remember having went like this:
- I began reading Jason Vale’s Kicking the Drink a few days before quitting. On day 1, read this book for a few minutes when I woke up and again at bedtime. That week, seriously, I read it at work during lunch in addition to reading it morning and night.
- I bought myself a pretty bead bracelet and told myself I would not drink for as many days as there were beads. 23. I rubbed those beads. I looked at the different colors and picked my faves. I analyzed whether my mood matched the day’s bead color. I looked forward to reaching a sober red bead day, or sober sky blue bead day, because those beads were especially pretty. I was constantly fingering those beads, counting and recounting how many days I had in and how many I had left to reach my goal. I treated that bracelet like an AF talisman. If I was wearing it, there could be NO DRINKING. And that totally worked for months (til my Momma died & then, well, nothing worked quite like it had before, including me or my AF talisman).
- On my best Day 1, I made plans to spend the majority of the day differently than I normally would, and with some sober safety nets in place. I took my kid, and a friend known to me to be . . . not a partier, very responsible, and we hung out at an art festival. I drove, needed to be sober to drive home. There were wine tastings, but this friend would have only had one under any circumstance and when I breezed past she didn’t ask to stop, as I suspected would be the case. So I had several hours of sober time logged in when I hit my first witching hour. I was determined to make it for the whole day and I had already passed h o u r s sober so why not hang in there til bedtime?
- At dinner when hubs asked if I wanted wine, I said nah and poured myself a large something else. I don’t even remember what. I did not make any declarations to him or my friend. I had been contemplating quitting for a while, bought the bead bracelet that morning after yoga, and just decided in my own head that this was the day to give it a real go.
- I just gutted it through the rest of the evening with no wine and went to bed early & sober. Sobriety is exhausting at first.
I remember feeling out of sorts on the day described above. Other times, early on in a quit, I swear I’ve felt my brain sloshing around in my head. But it’s 24 hours. And you can sleep for a bunch of them. Then you’re off to the races.
On my first days (ok, even still) I read Mrs. D is Going Without (going or doing?). Her blog is very well organised – you easily find her early, sober posts. Unpickled has a special supportive impact on me ’cause I found her first. Reading her blog was when it first dawned on me that quitting needn’t involve AA, or public shameful pronouncements, or anything more dramatic than me talking to myself about my choices. The Sober School is another great resource. Quick posts. Helpful suggestions, very practical. Hell, she will even coach you on the regular if you want.
Get some sugar and give yourself a free pass to eat it for a while. My brother likes Hershey minatures. My sister likes ice cream. (Yes, all of my siblings have had Day 1s, too). I like cake and Krispy Kremes. I give myself sweet indulgences at 4 pm so that when I get home from work I’m not hungry and feel like I already had one treat so it won’t kill me to skip wine.
Thanks, question poser. I had a rough day today and I felt some wine bottles calling my name this evening. But so were you, with your inquiry, & I answered you instead of the drinking call. So thanks for that, and good luck. Q