I do think it is . . . not “easier,” but . . . less painful to quit drinking when you limit lusting after it and focus more on the positives of being AF and reasons for continuing to choose an AF life.  I really got in my own way a bit here recently.  When really, I enjoy sleeping through the night, remembering everything I did (on a Tuesday), and waking up hangover free.  I really enjoy those parts of sobriety.

Someone wrote about the danger of counting your AF period.  Something like it is a lifetime choice to be free of the poison so there’s no point in counting forever.  And, the daily count is more in line with the BS AA theory that you are a flawed creature, brought low enough by your addictions to give it up, finally you dumb fuck, but you are doomed to long for alcohol every single day of the rest of your miserable existence, so keep track of the # of days you successfully beat back the beast.

Clearly, I have some issues with AA.  It only failed my whole family.  And I went for decades.  DECADES people.  Thinking it was the only (unworkable) option out there. Thank God for that Unpickled chick.  Seriously, she saved my liver, prevented me from getting diabetes, and likely saved my relationships with the hubs n child. Not to mention my self respect.

Anyway, it’s day 53.  I don’t feel like a deprived, addict ridden woman everyday.  There are moments, moments, and they aren’t even every day, when I crave a drink.  But the majority of the time I am consciously happy with some aspect or another of my AF life

I really wanted to write this post because my past few have been kinda “woe is me, this is so freakin hard,” and those were true.  But, even in the midst of those more challenging experiences, I was sleeping through the night, waking up hangover free, and having mornings free from recriminations about my failure (again, deep sigh) to abstain the night before.  And the mornings make up for whatever longings flit by in the evenings (or on a Saturday afternoon.  Or Sunday.  Or WHENEVER).  So this is a reminder post to myself.  It’s nice to be sober.  I like it.  I chose it on purpose.  It suits the real me better.  I am better sober.  And anyone who knows me even a little bit knows I am always pushing myself and everyone else in the whole world to be the very best they can be.  I gotta be sober to get there.