It’s the morning of Day 5 AF. I don’t usually post in the mornings because how can you call yourself quit drinking for 5 days when day 5 has JUST BEGUN? I didn’t post yesterday & I am waiting on traffic to die down before I go to work (so I have time to kill) & I feel reasonably confident I will make it through this 5th sober day so I am leaping out into the blog-o-sphere with a morning post.
The first first time I quit drinking, a few years ago, I remember going to dinner with the hubs, the kid, and friend of kid. Hubs had wine at dinner. I was so jealous. So bitter in my perusal of the menu to find a replacement, treat beverage. I ordered some sickly sweet coffee thing that was wholly unsatisfying. Last night, hubs and I went out to dinner and then to a concert. I had a lovely cup of tea at dinner. I used honey (which I usually avoid because it does not make the tea sweet enough for my tastes). It was really yummy. Hubs had some drink in a copper cup, never a draw to me so no worries there. There was beer at the concert, lots of it, and hubs had some. I didn’t have anything and didn’t really miss it.
The difference is I feel better AF and very much appreciate feeling better. Maybe this is just a factor of aging. I don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night & if I drink, I will. I don’t want to have to pee, need lots of water, and have a racing mind at 2:00 a.m. All of that inevitably happens when I drink. I like waking up feeling refreshed and showing up at work non-bleary eyed, non-stuffy, non-headachy. It’s different this time because I appreciate the positives of sobriety more than I miss the drinking. And when I think about missing the drinking, I think about what it will cost me to drink. Plus, staying quit is easier than starting to be quit. I don’t know why it is hard to get up the nerve to have a Day 1. It is though. I’m going to try to hang on to this one.