We went to pick up a few groceries yesterday. There was white wine on the list. I looked at hubs quizzically and asked: is this for you?  He said it was an old item (our list is electronic — if you don’t move items to the cart and checkout, they stay on the list forever).  So we went about our shopping without buying any wine.

My family will be traveling without me today through Wednesday, when I will be so glad to join them. It used to be hard not to drink alone. I used to like drinking alone. No one to witness my sloppy so I could pretend it wasn’t sloppy. Or really, I could pretend whatever I wanted because it was just me n Char n she don’t talk.  At least not with words.  She will leave you lookin like you had a rough night of it.

Now I am not so concerned about staying sober alone for the next few days.  These days, it is easier to be alone because sober is easier alone. I am a might trepid about how my half of spring break will go. I hate feeling left out of the fun. If everyone else is drinking (and they will be), I am going to want to join in.  I guess I gotta spend some minutes meditating abt that and figure out a plan for managing it. Plus, a second trigger is that I get incredibly annoyed by my parents in law. Like, annoyed enough to want 3 chardonnay’s back to back so I don’t crawl out of my skin when my annoyance with them peaks.  Which, it will.  I guess I will add that to the list of things to ponder.

I am just melancholy today. I will miss the hubs and little boo for the next few days. Silver linings:  1.  Identified the triggers early. 2.  Gots time to figure out how to manage triggers before encountering triggers.